A friend of mine recently baked a birthday cake for a close relative and then she went out her way to deliver the baked goods in the snow. She waited patiently for two days for some kind of thank you or acknowledgement for all her efforts but unfortunately she didn’t get what she was expecting. In the end she had to text the recipient of all her hard work to ask if they had received her thoughtful creation and in return she received a mediocre thank you via text message.
We’ve all been there, we go out of our way to do something nice for someone, put our all into it and are excited for some kind of reaction or gratitude but it’s heartbreaking when we don’t get what we expected. We place such high expectations on others, that when we don’t get what we expected or thought we deserved, our happy and excited emotions turn to sadness, anger and bitterness.
My friend said that she wouldn’t be going out of her way again to make an effort, which I totally understood. In moments of anger and sadness our ego can get in the way of our logical emotions. When she made this statement, it made me think…initially, was she happy and excited to bake something for her relative? YES!
So, it came from her heart! She wanted to do something nice for someone she cared about. But her expectations of gratitude, deflated her entire process because she didn’t receive what she thought she was going to get or deserved.
I know it’s hard not to have any expectations but, one thing I’ve learnt from people older and wiser than myself is not to expect anything in return for something you want to do for someone.
If doing nice things for other people makes you happy and makes your heart sing, keep doing what you’re doing but don’t expect anything in return for the time, effort and money you put into your passion project.
If your efforts do get recognised, then that’s a bonus!
I liken it to kindness, if other people aren’t being kind, doesn’t mean you stop being kind and take on their habits and emotions. You keep being you!