How to be happy for others

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Why does it always seem that others get everything and you’re always waiting for your lucky break?! And when they do get the promotion, the marriage, the kids, the car etc, etc etc, blah, blah, blah, you have to be happy for them and even though you genuinely might be, you can’t show or express how much you’re hurting inside because, that just means you’re raining on their parade or being an unsupportive friend?!

It’s a weird one and hard one to answer because most of us don’t begrudge our loved ones successes, if anything it’s exciting to see others succeed but when your luck just isn’t cutting it how do you be happy for others?

If and when the jealousy monster makes an ugly appearance it’s time to start counting your blessings. “And how exactly do I do that?!” I hear you ask. Well, it’s easier than you think!

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Get yourself a nice little notebook, it can be as fancy or as basic as you like, as it’s going to be a place where you can write things down. We look at other people and compare ourselves to them and where we are in our lives and in the process forget all of our own accomplishments.

So, just start! Write down all the things you have achieved in your life, if you don’t know where to begin, you can start from your childhood – write down when you first learnt to ride a bike, when you made someone laugh, when you made a new friend, when you found some loose change down the back of the sofa. Write down anything and everything that you did or that happened to you that made or makes you feel good. Don’t overthink it, if it gives you a good feeling in the moment, write it down.

So that’s your accomplishments written down, another thing you can do is have a gratitude list. Write down all the things you’re grateful and happy for and this doesn’t just have to be about yourself, this can be about other people in your life. For example, I’m so happy that my parents have great health, I’m so grateful that I get to spend the weekends at my siblings house and they cook me dinner while I relax, or I’m so grateful I get to enjoy a cup of tea in the garden each morning before work.

“What’s the point of all this,?” I hear you ask. Well, it’s as simple as this, these acts of writing positive things down, reminds you of all the good things that have happened in your life and it rewires your brain.

It sounds too simple and too good to be true doesn’t it, but what have you got to lose by being positive? It’s much better than wallowing in self pity that’s for sure. You can either sit on the sofa all day, watching pointless TV shows, eating food that doesn’t nourish your mind and body or you can do something good for yourself by reminding yourself that life wasn’t always bad and there’s so much you have achieved and there’s so much to be thankful for.

You can take this practice one step further and write down all the things you want to achieve in life, otherwise known as scripting. This is meant to be done as if you’ve already achieved the things you want and are already in possession of it. If this is too difficult then just make yourself a bucket list of all the things you want in your life – this can be places you want to travel to, things you want to buy, restaurants you want to eat in, dishes you want to cook, the exact car you want to buy etc.

Write down anything and everything, no matter the monetary value or how out of reach it may seem and don’t worry about the how – you don’t need to worry about that, as crazy and as woo woo as it sounds, some other higher force out there (God, The Universe, your lucky Angel) has your back and will make it happen.

To round up:

  1. Write down all of your accomplishments to date, no matter how big or small.
  2. Make a gratitude list of all the things and people you are happy for in your life, again no matter how big or small.
  3. Make a bucket list of all the things you still want in your life, be as creative as you can be – even if it’s a yacht in the middle of the Indian Ocean, it may just come true for you!

No matter how difficult it may be, be happy for others and remember how far you’ve come in your own personal journey. There’s still so much goodness waiting for you and you’re time will come, even if it means having to waiting a little bit longer than someone else!